New Door

There are seasons in all of our lives. It's super important that we know the season we are in so we know where God wants us to be and what He wants us to do.

Recently, I decided to close the door on a ministry I have been part of for the past seven years. I attended the meeting as always the night I decided to do this. There was no intention in my heart to make any changes, but something happened that night that caused pain. And I was not in a good place during most of the meeting. I kept having to leave to pray and walk around because my heart was so heavy and hurting. I kept asking God to help me, to fill me with peace and wisdom. I had to calm down so I could lead the group I needed to lead later that evening.

Finally, I began trying to puzzle through the feelings inside me. What was causing me to be so upset? Why did I want to run away? What was causing my feelings and all the triggers going off in my head? I knew one of the reasons, but I knew there was more. It would take several hours for the answers to come to me. I knew that my stepping away had to do with the struggle inside my head, inside my internal world. For years, I have felt unwanted, unappreciated, unrespected, unheard, unsupported, and unloved, and these feelings were holding me back in my external world, keeping me from being visible in the way God wants me to be. As a leader, I wasn't being fully received in the way God could truly use my talents. Plus, the pain in my heart was growing. This pain had to do with the fact that I saw women hurting and crying out to God. During this time of searching, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that the pain I saw was women with splinters in their hearts that were infected and needed healing. The Holy Spirit revealed that I couldn't help these women in the ministry I was in. It was time for Him to open new doors and for me to begin my ministry to help these women. God heard their cries and He was eager to help me answer His calling on my life to help these women.

As I stood in the bathroom crying, the thought of leaving this ministry finally touched my heart, and there was a deep peace inside of me. I knew my answer. It was time for me to stop. God was calling me to open new doors. It was a new season in my life. Peace came over me. I had my answer. It was time for me to step into God's plan for my life.

I stand back now, my back against the closed door, and I look at the door that stands before me. God has revealed to me my mission. I will help women and children who have experienced trauma and grief go from hardly functioning to thriving. I am slowly making steps toward this goal. I know if I follow my Father's lead, He will continue to guide and help me.

What season are you in right now? Are there new doors God is asking you to walk through?

I pray that God will fill you with the courage and help you need with whatever task God gives you to do this year.